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are you setting your daughters up for failure?

5/13/2025

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Disclaimer:
I am not a Psychologist, Psychiatrist, or a professional counselor. I am a person who has lived long enough to observe life outside the Christian community as well as within. I have my own personal experiences and my own story that has taught me many things. The things of which I am blogging about are via observation and personal experience. Please listen with an open ear.

I have seen some disturbing things in my time and continue to see patterns of behavior among believers that continue to repeat the cycle in negative ways. Some of this may be due to ignorance and some may be due to the blatant refusal to acknowledge mistakes made in the rearing of their children and households. Nevertheless, the fall out is painful to watch.

Many have been blessed to be parents and to have daughters in particular. Daughters are special in their own right because they too, one day, will be the carriers of seed for the next generation. What a precious opportunity God has given to the woman to bear and raise children for Him.

Raising children is not easy. It is a labor of love and comes with so many things attached that most moms aren't always prepared for. It is on the job training, yet God has given a blueprint to follow. Most believers resort to the section of God's blueprint that deals with the spiritual training of a child. The part that speaks about raising them in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). There is a slew of verses like:

>Train up a child Prov. 22:6
>Children obey your parents Eph. 6:1-4
>Parents don't provoke your children Colossians. 3:21
>Spare the rod spoil the child Prov. 13:24
I could go on because God has given good scriptural instructions on raising children.

I would like to look at an area that seems to go neglected when raising daughters and sons, but my focus right now is on the daughters. Are we setting them up for failure? I have noticed that parents who rule with an iron fist at home by enforcing religious practices and behavior without balancing it with God's love is detrimental. There seems to be, in my opinion and observation, a lack of sensitivity of mothers and fathers in this area.

Train up a child in the way he or she should go also involves knowing the 'bent' of that child. All children in your home are not alike. They each have differing personalities and behavior patterns. Their emotional makeup is not the same and their need for attention varies. 

HANDLE YOUR OWN ISSUES FROM CHILDHOOD
As a parent, you may have been raised in a non-Christian home or even a Christian home environment, but it's important to be healthy and whole before you begin raising children. In some cases, there are parents who themselves are functioning with deficits that stem from their own dysfunctional background. They may have never looked into their own situation to heal from the wounds they received as children. It really takes work to investigate your own hurts and pains in order to heal from them. Just ask me, I'll tell you how much work I've had to do in this area. A parent's own brokenness that has gone unattended, emotionally and spiritually speaking, can be detrimental to their children. It's been said that "a child's first enemy is an unhealed parent." 

LISTEN TO YOUR CHILDREN
It is important to connect with your children on an emotional level. It isn't necessary to swoop down on them negatively at the first thing they say that is wrong. This requires listening to them even when they are coming from a wrong position. Give them an opportunity to be heard. When we don't allow them room to be heard, we cause them pain. They now learn that their feelings don't matter and that it's best not to express themselves. This results in them choosing to talk more to their peers who know less than they do, and it opens them up to bad advice as well as ungodly instruction.

FATHERS LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS
I cannot stress how important it is for dads to build a love relationship with their daughters from the time that they are little girls. Afterall, you are the first male in their lives. You set the stage for who they will choose to date and marry. You are the blueprint as far as males go. Often, more than not, they will choose a guy based on what they have seen and felt by you, their father. It goes really deep, deeper than you know. Fathers teach their daughters how they can expect to be treated by men in general. Fathers also are to provide teaching about the male specie for their daughters. Men know how men think and feel. Men know what men are looking for in women. Only a father can impart this instruction to their daughter. Mothers cannot teach their daughters these things. If a girl lacks this instruction, she will be left to choose ignorantly and end up looking for love in all the wrong places.

MOTHERS LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS
Now, it may seem to go without saying that moms automatically love their children and never need to be told to love them. There are some exceptions to this rule. I have seen insensitive, unloving mothers who neglected the emotions of their daughters. They viewed it as a weakness. They were almost saying that "In this family, we are strong, we don't cry or complain about stuff, we put up a stiff upper lip and suck it up!" I have seen this in action and noticed the devastating look on the child's face that spelled something destructive. This is how we set them up for failure. Mothers know what it is to be a female. God has created us as emotional creatures who nurture, feed, and guide our offspring. Moms are incubators who carried these babies around internally for nine months. There is a sweet connection between a mother and her offspring. Mothers are expected to listen to the tears as well as dry them. Mothers are to build those tender sensitive emotions by helping to balance them as the child grows and matures. Mothers are to teach them when it's safe to cry and when crying may need to be halted. They are never to stop their emotions from being expressed.

There is so much on this subject I could go into, but it would be way too much for this blog. I'm just simply saying, DON'T SET YOUR DAUGHTERS UP FOR FAILURE! 

PS: If you have any questions, please feel free to message me via this website.







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gate keepers

4/16/2025

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People in the church who think they open or close doors for others are called 'Gate Keepers'. That is a thing of the world. The world has this special club among the high society Hollywood types. It seems as though you must jump through hoops to get in or to even be considered.

We find no such thing as Gate Keepers mentioned in scripture except for the Old Testament references to those who had a specific job of such. It was a literal position and service. There is no one and I mean no one who is the end all be all to ministry work in the local church. 

Some of these individuals use vindictive means to block others from getting involved in ministry areas. But can someone really keep you or I from serving God? Absolutely not! God holds the authority and power, not man. So how does someone get around these individuals who think they are in charge of what belongs to God?

2 Corinthians tells us this, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay (earthen vessels, " KJV) and 2 Timothy 2:21 says, "If a man therefore purge himself from these, he shall be a vessel unto honor sanctified and meet for the master's use and prepared unto every good work." We are vessels and channels through which the Holy Spirit can flow through powerfully. No one is in control of you being used of God. Don't let people's ungodly behavior make you think that they somehow have control over God using you.

Should you find yourself hindered in any way from serving in your local church, provided you are sure that you are in good standing in your relationship with God, commit the matter to the Lord and wait on Him to override what's going on. I've experience times when the Lord wanted me to sit aside a while and simply wait on Him for what He would have me involve myself in next. It can feel as if you are hindered. Yes, Satan uses individuals in the church to hinder and to try to block us, but I always have to lean hard on what God allows. He allows these moments for a reason.

Gate Keepers have lost touch with God. They aren't in tune with God. They do not regard God's authority and thereby act in the flesh to make things go their way. Often jealousy and envy are reasons for such behavior.  It's hard to see Christ in them. They seem to bear deep resentment towards God. They may even feel as if He has not given them something they wanted or the life they wanted. They take their frustration and negative feelings out on anyone who seems to have what they want.

Don't be disturbed by these individuals. Leave them to God. Keep trusting and waiting on God for the open doors He has with your name on it. He is faithful!
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it's okay to just be

4/10/2025

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"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."   Matthew 5:16

Letting our light shine is a big task in our world. For others to get a glimpse of Christ by observing our actions, speech, and behavior is a tall order in itself.

This verse simply says, 'be a Christian in this world'. That's what God expects of us. All we have to do each day is to simply be. 

God has given each believer what he or she needs to carry out that command of letting their light shine. It will have moments of great challenge, and you may even have to stand alone in certain situations but know that God has called you to it and He will be with you all the way.

​I am content with striving to 'just be'. What about you? How are you doing with that?
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mary of Bethany

3/12/2025

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As Christians, we must learn what it means to 'sit at Jesus' feet'. In Luke 10:38-42 we read of Mary who sat and heard the words of Jesus. 

In order to hear from the Lord, we have to be in a seated position. Martha spent her time standing and moving about whilst Mary quietly sat. 

Life keeps us busy and sometimes unnecessarily so. No matter how busy our schedules may be, we always have time to eat, sleep, and even do a couple of the things we enjoy doing. In order to hear what the Lord would say to us each day, we must sit. The Lord had to pull Martha's coat about this. 

In John 12:3 we have the story of Mary of Bethany and her alabaster box of precious ointment that she pours on Jesus' feet, and she wipes them with her hair. Once again, she is at His feet, but this time it is for worship and adoration. In Luke 10:39 Mary is at His feet listening to Him speak. The third time she is found at His feet is in John 11:32 when her brother Lazarus died. Here she is at His feet in her time of sorrow and grief. We'd do well if we take note of the three occasions Mary was found at the feet of Jesus. We should be found at those very times doing the same.

How are you at sitting still long enough to hear from the Lord? Do you rush through quiet time because you have other pressing things to do, or do you set aside time to sit in His presence? 
I find that when we spend more time sitting in order to get a word from the Lord, we will carry out the events of the day in tune with God. We will have clarity and the Holy Spirit's guidance.

May we be found at His feet for worship, learning, and in times of hardship.





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panic room

2/16/2025

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Do you have a 'Panic-Room'? Do you know where one is? A Panic-Room is a safe-room. It is heavily fortified, and you are completely safe from all danger.

Did you know that rich people are investing in these rooms in their homes? They are looking to be protected from break-ins, robbers and killers. Frankly, they are the only ones who can afford to have one constructed in their home. 

Some years ago, there was a movie entitled, Panic Room. One day while a mother and her daughter were home, thieves broke into their lovely home, and they sought refuge within the panic-room. It was amazing to see the security it had. The robbers discovered that someone was still in the house and tried their best to drill and break into the room but couldn't. There were cameras inside the room where they could watch throughout the house where the thieves were.

"When my soul is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I" (Psalm 61:2). "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble" (Psalm 46:1). 

The above verses say it all, in my opinion. We have a 'Panic-Room'! There will come a time in everyone's life when it all becomes too much to handle, naturally speaking. Trials can be heavy upon us. Crisis situations arise that frighten us to no end. Many are sick with deadly disease trying to claim their life. It's horrific, the things Christians and people in general are experiencing. Everyone's looking for a Panic-Room!

We all need a safe room where no one can penetrate the walls of our mind and heart gripping it with fear. We need to feel safe from all harm, psychologically, physically, and emotionally.

What's inside God's panic room:
1. An impenetrable shield
2. A powerful force
3. Arms of comfort
4. Divine protection
5. A way of escape at the right time

There was only one dilemma in the movie, Panic Room. The woman's daughter was diabetic, if I'm correct. They ran into the room, forgetting her medication. The mother had to get out and retrieve the meds without the robbers catching her. Epic fail! While her daughter lay weak and limp in the panic room, the mother is faced with yet another challenge. The husband is looking for them and he gets caught in between the home invasion madness.

While the rich seek refuge in what their money can buy, they're investment cannot buy peace of mind. Essentially, they are more worried than the poor man who cannot afford such luxury. There is no price for peace of mind!

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are safe" (Proverbs 18:10). When you know the Lord, you have everything you need to face the awfulness of what life brings! He is our refuge! Calling on His name alone sends the power force we need to withstand anything coming against us. We don't need a physical room to hide in. We don't need steel walls with hidden cameras. We only need to place our full trust in the Lord God!

The moment life drops its weight on you, call on the name of the Lord! He will immediately take you into His panic room and shut the door! Inside with Him, you'll be calm. He'll minister to you and make sense of it all while providing what you need.

It's important that you know how to get into His panic room! The enemy is counting on you being so distracted by your circumstances that you fail to get to the safe room. Don't give into your fears. It's perfectly alright to be afraid, just don't give in to it. Don't let fear dictate what you do.
Call on the name of the Lord! He's a very present help in time of trouble!

If you are reading this and you do not know Christ as your savior, please settle that right now. 
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son (Jesus), that whosoever (anyone) believes in Him will not perish (die) but have everlasting life (Life beyond the grave, eternal life in heaven)" (John 3:16).  Right where you are, confess to God that you are a sinner and are in need of a savior. Ask Him to come into your heart and save you from your sins. Sincerely believe, meaning it with all your heart, and He will save you and begin His wonderful transformation in your life!



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joseph's request

2/14/2025

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Joseph was a commodity. He was a valuable asset to his brethren, the Ishmaelites, and to Potiphar.

Potiphar's wife represents Satan, in that she sought to strip him of his godly dignity by getting him to submit to His flesh, and when that failed, she sought vengeance. That's the face of the enemy when he can't use us. He looks for those who aren't walking with God, or obedient to God, to turn on us because we refuse his advances.

All of these individuals had arterial motives for their use of Joseph. As decent as we may think Potiphar was, he stood to benefit the most, as a businessman who had the best accountant ever!

God allowed everyone's motives to fly because He had them all as part of His plan. There was a big picture, and they were a part of it. In chess, the pawns are on the table. You cannot play chess without the pawns, so I heard.

Unfortunately, people will try to use you for what is of value to them. Sometimes fellow believers have been known to do the same.

Joseph was a loving commodity for God. God was going to use him to save many lives.

We can allow the world to use us and wring us out dry, or we can give ourselves, our talents, and skill to God for His eternal purposes.

In the account of Joseph in Genesis 40:14 Joseph makes a request. "But remember me when it is well with you, and please show kindness to me; make mention of me to Pharaoh and get me out of this house." This was a reasonable request after having interpreted the chief butler's dream. Not only that, the butler would also get his job back and be restored to Pharaoh's kingdom. Sadly, Joseph is forgotten. Two years go by before the chief butler remembers him. Ouch! You and I would have been infuriated, blowing smoke, and vowing to never help anyone else again.

God's fullness of time has come for Joseph, ending his time in prison. Long story short, despite everything he has gone through, he remains steadfast, faithful and obedient to God. Now the big picture unfolds in a blessed and marvelous way for Joseph.

What request have you been making to the Lord God? Is there a situation you need to get out of? Are you tired of your circumstances and needing an out? Here's the ultimate question. Have you been steadfast, faithful and obedient to the Lord? If the answer is 'yes', just know that the fullness of God's time hasn't come yet. There is a bigger picture and all the players on the table must get their turn on the board. God has not forgotten you. He is preparing you for something connected to your ultimate purpose. If your answer is 'no', confess to the Lord what's kept you from walking right and start right where you're at.  Walk upright before the Lord God. Sit in His presence daily and spend time in prayer. He will guide you and see you through.

Walking in the flesh blocks God's purpose for our lives. Are you willing to walk in the path He has laid out for you even if it means that you will lose friends, a social circle, family members, and opportunities? Are you willing to take up that cross regardless? Or would you rather straddle that fence? Joseph gave himself over to what God allowed. Was it hard for him? Absolutely! Was it burdensome? Absolutely! Did he suffer under the weight of it? Yes! Did he try to run? No! Was he heartbroken and lonely? He was! Did he want out? He certainly did!

Keep trusting God in whatever situation you find yourself in. He is faithful and will deliver you in due time. He heard your request, and He has every intention on delivering you!

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what are you bragging about?

1/20/2025

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"Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

To boast means to talk with great pride with self-satisfaction about one's achievements; to brag or to glorify. Sometimes we brag about others in regard to something they've accomplished. 

There is nothing wrong with acknowledging another's achievements, skill, or elevation in life. It's the attitude with which we do these things. Some of us smote our breast, so to speak, with pride when we speak about the things our children are doing, the colleges or schools they attend, how many grandchildren we have, the house we bought, the car we drive and the vacation we took. Nothing is wrong with any of these things in themselves, it's how we speak of them and the attitude we display to others while speaking about them.

In Psalm 34, David boasts and brags about how God delivered him when he was in trouble.
He mentions with great fervor how God answered him when he cried to Him.

We may boast about many things like:
1. The restaurants we like and the cuisine we enjoyed there
2. Friends who are doing impressive things
3. Our plans
4. Vacations we took and the places we've been
5. Our job position and how much money we make
6. Our homes
7. Our church/pastor
8. Celebrities we've met
9. People we admire
10. The things we can afford

As Christians, our boast should be in the Lord God. But how can we boast in Him if we're not experiencing Him on a personal level? The list above describes things we brag about because we have had some first-hand experience with them. We've given them five stars as it were, that show they met with our approval. We're glorying in them. So, what about what God has done for you and for me? What are we bragging about where God is concerned? Has He met with our approval?

There are those in the Bible who made their boast in the Lord:
1. Mary, the mother of Jesus (The Magnificat) in Luke 1:46-55) She certainly had something grand to boast in God about!
2. Hannah, Elkanah's wife, Samuel's mother (1 Samuel 2:1-10). What a powerful expression of praise and thanksgiving for answered prayer and the miracle of opening her womb!
3. Miriam, the prophetess, the sister of Moses and Aaron. She is the first praise and worship leader in the Bible. She takes her timbrel in hand and leads the praise in Exodus 15:20-27.
4. Naomi, Elimelech's wife, mother-in-law to Ruth, the Moabitess offers us her boasting when she returned to Bethlehem Judea from Moab in Ruth 1:22.

May we make our boast in the Lord. Brag on Him by lifting Him up to those we come in contact with - in hopes that they may desire Him. Our boasting will only be as strong and deep as our appreciation is of Him and as strong as our relationship is with Him.

Are you and I 'Surfacy' in our walk with Him, or do we have testimony for days of enduring many things and coming out on the other side?


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the tongue

1/9/2025

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"Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking lies."  Psalm 34:13

God has created every human with the ability to talk; there may be a few exceptions due situations one is born with. However, even the deaf manage to communicate using their hands. We all have the privilege to express ourselves and to have verbal exchange.

As Christians our words should encourage, edify and enrich others. This is what God expects of us. 

In the above verse David is giving good advice concerning the tongue. He is speaking from personal experience. He pretended to be crazy in order to avoid danger and Abimelech dismissed him. David had no business in the environment he was in, but he was reacting out of fear. This caused him to deceive those around him. Deception is a lot like lying because it leads others to think that what they are seeing is the real deal, when it's a cover for something else. If it isn't the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, it's a lie. Don't ever forget that!

We are told to keep our tongue from evil speaking. Evil speaking involves words that are injurious, intentionally hurtful and words that can ruin a person's reputation. It is also called speaking ill of others. We are to make an effort to avoid using our tongue in this manner.

Negative words end up bringing harm to the speaker by eventually making life difficult for them. What goes around does come around. What a man sows, he will also reap. Those same negative words will have consequences on the one who put them out there. An evil speaker will lose the trust and respect of others. They will not have good days. Trouble will follow them wherever they go.

Evil speaking causes disunity (discord) among God's people and God hates this immensely. It is an abomination, as well as lying lips (Proverbs 12:22). In Proverbs 6:16-19 God lists six things that He hates and the seventh one in verse 19 says, "he that soweth discord among brethren."

Lies and deceit create offenses, and it separates relationships that otherwise would be harmonious. There are different types of liars. There are prolific liars who lie easily at the drop of a hat. They have mastered and developed such a habit of lying that it becomes a part of them. They believe their own lies. They don't lie necessarily with the intent to do harm, but they do cause harm. Some are pathological liars in that they are aware of what they are doing. They mean it for harm.

Let us judge our tongues and think twice before speaking. Let us hold our negative views of others and keep our thoughts to ourselves. Let us honor the Lord God in all that we say and do. 



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Divisiveness

12/9/2024

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"I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them." 
Romans 16:17 (NIV)

"Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them."
Titus 3:10 (NIV)

Have you ever encountered a divisive person? They are everywhere. They are found in the workplace, and anywhere where there are a group of people who have authority over them. They, unfortunately, are in the local churches. Individuals who are divisive don't see themselves as that. So, what does that word, 'Divisive' mean?

A divisive person causes disunity and dissention among others. This individual is often disgruntled, angry, and upset with someone or a decision that was made that rub them the wrong way. They not only refuse to comply with what they're told; they get others to go along with what they think and feel. They sometimes rise up against those in authority. This is a sin. This dishonors the Lord. They are rebellious and so are the ones who follow them.

Rebellious persons almost always seem to have followers. Followers come in two categories:
1. Those who are in agreement with the rebellion
2. Those who quietly look the other way

The sin of commission and the sin of omission is one in the same. To wrongly instigate a situation or to ignore that instigation makes both parties guilty. The sin of omission is committed when someone fails to do what they know is right where God is concerned.
It is seen in:
1. The failure to speak up about another's known sin (not addressing it with them) as well as failing to speak against the gossip (or evil speaking) being brought to them.
2. The failure to rebuke their fellow believer when they are in the wrong.
3. The failure to say anything by just being a bystander to wrong behavior, and ill speaking when done in their presence.

Let us not forget Korah, Dathan and Abiram in Numbers 16. Korah initiated the rebellion, and 250 men agreed with him and followed as well as Dathan and Abiram. Long story short, they were judged by God and killed. The earth opened up and swallowed them. They rebelled against the leadership God chose and influenced others to go against that leadership.

Rebelliousness has far reaching consequences.  Korah's sin impacted others, their households, and the people of God. Korah's attitude and conversation caused 250 men to rise up against the Moses and Aaron. 

God will judge these individuals by allowing sad and terrible events to happen in their lifetime as well as in the judgement to come (the judgement seat of Christ). As Christians, we will all be judged for how we've lived out our Christian life.

What category do you fall in? The Word of God is clear. We are to know who's causing division among us and to separate ourselves from them.  God is for unity among His people and anyone causing disunity must be shunned. Don't be a part of anyone or anything that goes against the authority God has placed over you in your local church.

Leaders are certainly not perfect, but we are not to disrespect them, neither gather others to speak against them. You may not always agree with their choices or decisions, and if that is the case, go to God first with your complaint and prayerfully and humbly approach them privately with your concerns. Korah had a leg to stand on with his complaint, but he was dead wrong in how he went about it. 






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It's time to get saved!

11/24/2024

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We live in a society where many feel that they're entitled to receive what they want. People wake up every day with no thought as to what keeps their heart beating, their eyes seeing, and their physical being functioning. 

There used to be a time in history where only the older folk took ill or died. It was expected that the young would live longer than they're living today. Mankind hasn't taken stock of their life. 

The Gospel message of Salvation continues to go out in many churches and the call for sinners to repent is still being made. 

If you have stumbled upon my website, please stop and listen to this simple message of 'Love' written by Jesus Christ, Himself, for you!

John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son (Jesus) that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." Have you ever heard that before? What do you think about that? You have been placed on the planet not by happenstance. There's no big bang theory that formed your intricately woven body. 

I need you to know that life is very unpredictable. People are dying all around you and some suddenly without warning. Where will your soul go should you die today, tomorrow or in the near future? What plans have you made for eternity? Your soul is eternal. One's body may die due to sickness, or car accident or simply one's heart may just stop beating. The soul of every human lives on beyond the grave. The question becomes, "Where will your soul end up."

There is life after death. There really is a hell. That's the place souls go when they have rejected the Lord Jeus Christ's offer of salvation. Life is unpredictable at best. All that's needed for you to do is to confess your sins by simply recognizing that you have been a sinner and ask God to forgive you of your sins. But don't make that confession if you don't feel a need to change how you've been living. You should be sincere in your confession to God. He will forgive you and show you the way to live that He intended. A life full of blessing, and comfort with all the provision and help you need to navigate your way here on the earth. 

There's another thing God wants you to know. His son, Jesus Christ, has promised to return for all who have placed their faith and trust in Him. One day He's coming back to take His people to Heaven and there we will spend all eternity with Him.

This offer of 'Salvation' will not be on the table forever. I don't want you to miss out on a life of bliss. We've pretty much come to the end of another year. Don't you think it's time to think seriously about where you will spend eternity? Think about it. Tomorrow isn't promised to you.
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    As a writer, I enjoy giving you the honest side of truth! As an artist, I create what doesn't exist. Each day I look for new and creative ways to use every ability God has so graciously given me.



























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