"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
A mighty warrior subdues individuals by overpowering them in some way. He conquers by force.
It takes self-control to not react or respond out of anger. The person who retaliates or tries to get back at a person because they were made to feel some kind of way is out of control. The person who takes vengeance on another for any reason is out of control. The person who goes and spreads malicious, negative things about someone is out of control. The person who influences others against another is out of control.
All of these actions come from a place of anger within the individual. They have not learned to rule their spirit. They are actually very weak. All they can do is to go around unleashing anger and bitterness on others. They refuse to learn how to deal with their emotions in a healthy, non-destructive way. They lack spiritual maturity when they are quick to get angry and follow through by acting on it.
One wonders if they have experienced emotional repression as a child where their feelings were rejected, not heard, criticized and not valued. Perhaps they ended up going through life feeling as if they always get the raw end of the stick. Sometimes it's those childhood deficits that bring about frustration and anger. Let's not forget that verbal abuse can play a part in this type of behavior as well. This can be a breeding ground for behaviors such as: jealousy, envy and a manipulative spirit within a child. Disclaimer, I am not a psychologists or mental health professional. I am only speaking from observation and what I have discerned as one coming from a background laden with dysfunction.
As an aside, if you are raising children, give them a safe space with you where they can express their feelings whether you, as a parent or guardian, agree with them or not. Don't make them swallow their feelings because eventually they will rebel. It is healthy to express one's emotions. That is why God gave us the ability to feel in the first place, and tears to cry. Just picture someone who at every turn tries to shut you down when you want to say something. What could that end up doing to you?
Becoming a Christian and having a relationship with God should aid us in the area of self-control
by helping us to handle disappointment, and rejection as well as handling offences. Somehow for some, anger keeps spilling out. This shows a lack in their spiritual development and their refusal to let God help in this area of their life.
Some Christians may even think that they can control such behavior, but they can't. Self-control requires a power beyond us. One must employ the help of God.
God's Word gives wisdom for handling anger. He gives us a right perspective from which to view the problem. One must be willing to get to the origin of their angry feelings and investigate why they are so quick to become angry and agitated in that way.
Yesterday, I tried to address how to avoid taking things personally unless it was necessary. Quick tempered people take everything personally. and it can lead to out-of-control behavior.
Let's face it, there's enough stuff out here and people to make us lose our mind, so to speak, if we're not careful; it's a tough and cruel world, but as a believer, God gives us tools to use and advice as to how to manage our emotions, our thinking, and our perspective. That is why it is imperative that we draw near to God so that we can be empowered and helped in gaining self-control.
You and I want to be godly men and women who know how to control anger for this is commendable!
Do you take things personally?
"He who is slow to wrath (anger) has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly."
Proverbs 14:29 (NKJV)
Have you experienced situations that made you wonder about why the person said, did or behaved a certain way towards you, and when you searched your heart, you couldn't find anything you had done to them to warrant that behavior?
People are always telling us how they feel, what they feel, and why they feel what they feel. We can miss the message if we lack good understanding. What kind of understanding am I speaking of? The scripture text above explains it all. There are times when we encounter negative behavior from others; it can come from un-believers as well as fellow believers. The usual tendency it to become agitated in our spirits and it sometimes leads to anger, especially if we are seeing this reaction towards us on the regular.
How important is it to understand ourselves? I've learned that it is imperative that we have a good understanding about ourselves as well as human nature. Use yourself as an example; every reaction, response, or words you've spoken and how they were uttered was connected to something that was going on deep inside. Is that not true? There is always a reason for the way we feel, and how we respond out of those feelings. If you know yourself well enough, you'll begin to tackle the first part of the 'why' someone does what they do. They have a 'reason'. Now grant it, they may not have a legitimate reason for treating you the way they do but know that they have a reason. There is something behind the side eye, the cold shoulder, isolation, the stares, the attitude, and the insensitivity.
If we're quick to respond with anger, or angry emotion, it shows that we lack understanding of ourselves. The individual who responds this way is in all actuality, behaving foolishly. The thing to do is to take a step back and really look at the situation.
People are often revealing things about themselves to us, whether it comes in the form of negative behavior or pleasantry. There are things lurking deep within the individual that rises to the surface when we're around for some reason. You either bring out the best in them or the worst in them, and still, it may have nothing to do with anything you've done to them.
Avoid becoming agitated and angry with others. Learn to look below the surface to identify what their problem really is. There are jealousies, envy, lack of peace, insecurities, and discontent that is usually found there. Did you know that how a person treats you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves? Do you know that it also speaks to how they feel about God? Yes, this is true!
Some may feel as though God has failed them in some way by not giving them what they feel they deserved, be it attention, affirmation, confidence, opportunities, and things of that nature. So, when they see you walk in the room with a smile on your face, confidently addressing those in the room, happy and contented as you minister using your God-given skills, they start hating on you by facial expressions, coldness, avoidance, etc. In this they are showing how upset they are with God, and how unhappy they are within themself, and they take it out on you.
We cannot go around taking these things personally unless there is a good and legitimate reason why we should. Just know this, 'Everything Ain't About You'! Keep it moving, pray for them, they need it. Keep your head up and continue to fulfill the purposes God has for your life. It's a New Year, make it count!!
will it be a happy new year?
W"He that dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty." Psalm 91:1
So how are you doing? Did you get off to a good start this year? 2021 ended with a bang for many of us and rolled right into a New Year with much of the same. Everyone is wondering if things are going to get better. We wonder if it will be a 'Happy New Year'.
Well one thing is for sure; problems and challenges will always be there no matter what year we are in because this is life, period. God's Word encourages us to walk by faith and trust God for everything we need. We can have a happy 2022 regardless of the Pandemic, challenges, trials, or anything else that comes our way.
The above verse mentions the word 'shadow'. The shadow of the almighty God is something to think about. A shadow is defined as a shape that is produced by a ray of light cast on it. God's shadow is cast about us, protecting and securing us from all harm and danger. No one can enter that space because it is reserved for His children only. Satan comes to threaten us and to rustle us out from under that shadow, but he cannot enter there. As long as we commune daily, meditating on His Word, we will be safe and sheltered there physically, emotionally and psychologically. All of this is provided for us, and it's within a shadow. Imagine that.
Many are wondering and hoping for happiness this year. We want this Pandemic and its variants to leave our world and be gone. We all want to get back to the way things were, not that the world was in any better condition, but we were healthier. We want to resume all the activities that we were previously enjoying. Will it happen? I don't know the answer to that, but God does. The best advice I can give is to walk with God, by faith, and rejoice in the Lord daily. God is the source of our joy, our contentment, our peace of mind and our happiness. A relationship with God satisfies, gratifies, and keeps us stable and safe.
Take advantage of opportunities to fellowship with others via Zoom, What's app, and phone calls. Let people hear your voice or see your face as you communicate. Face time your Christian friends who you haven't seen in a while. Keeping in touch with others who are in pursuit of God is key.
I don't know about you, but I am looking forward to this year being a happy year for me and my family. I am trusting God for His help as I continue to enjoy His many blessings. Remember, He loves you more than you know, He will carry you through each day and He will never leave you nor forsake you. All you've got to do is trust Him by obeying Him and follow where He leads.
Skewed- A biased or distorted way of looking at something
By God's grace we have entered a New Year! What will be your outlook for 2022? How will you see and receive what's to come?
It goes without saying that each day brings its own troubles that we cannot escape. Unfortunately, we cannot avoid problems, but when they come, we have to be careful how we judge them. Personally speaking, I can see problems as an unnecessary burden, or I can see them from God's perspective. From God's view, He allowed them for my good, for spiritual insight into who He is, for spiritual development, and for character building purposes. Grant it, we are not expecting a New Year to bring problems so soon, but we should brace ourselves for whatever comes.
Satan wants you and I to have a skewed view on the situations we're confronted with. Take for instance, Joseph. He could have looked at all the haters around him (his brethren) and retaliated in some way. He could have gone into 'pity mode' or he could have cast it all on the Lord God and prayed for grace to endure. Joseph definitely did the latter.
What I love about the Lord God is that He gives attention to detail, so whatever comes our way, it has already passed with His approval. I may not know exactly why I find myself in a particular situation, but one comforting thing is that I am positive that nothing happens without God's permission.
The Apostle Paul said, "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;" (2 Corinthians 4:8).
The Lord said, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).
God never said things would be easy for us, but He has promised to never leave us, or forsake us. He will be with us through it all. So, as you begin this year, walk with God, pray without ceasing (keep being diligent in prayer more than once a day), and keep trusting!
Have A Blessed and Prosperous 2022!