"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
A mighty warrior subdues individuals by overpowering them in some way. He conquers by force.
It takes self-control to not react or respond out of anger. The person who retaliates or tries to get back at a person because they were made to feel some kind of way is out of control. The person who takes vengeance on another for any reason is out of control. The person who goes and spreads malicious, negative things about someone is out of control. The person who influences others against another is out of control.
All of these actions come from a place of anger within the individual. They have not learned to rule their spirit. They are actually very weak. All they can do is to go around unleashing anger and bitterness on others. They refuse to learn how to deal with their emotions in a healthy, non-destructive way. They lack spiritual maturity when they are quick to get angry and follow through by acting on it.
One wonders if they have experienced emotional repression as a child where their feelings were rejected, not heard, criticized and not valued. Perhaps they ended up going through life feeling as if they always get the raw end of the stick. Sometimes it's those childhood deficits that bring about frustration and anger. Let's not forget that verbal abuse can play a part in this type of behavior as well. This can be a breeding ground for behaviors such as: jealousy, envy and a manipulative spirit within a child. Disclaimer, I am not a psychologists or mental health professional. I am only speaking from observation and what I have discerned as one coming from a background laden with dysfunction.
As an aside, if you are raising children, give them a safe space with you where they can express their feelings whether you, as a parent or guardian, agree with them or not. Don't make them swallow their feelings because eventually they will rebel. It is healthy to express one's emotions. That is why God gave us the ability to feel in the first place, and tears to cry. Just picture someone who at every turn tries to shut you down when you want to say something. What could that end up doing to you?
Becoming a Christian and having a relationship with God should aid us in the area of self-control
by helping us to handle disappointment, and rejection as well as handling offences. Somehow for some, anger keeps spilling out. This shows a lack in their spiritual development and their refusal to let God help in this area of their life.
Some Christians may even think that they can control such behavior, but they can't. Self-control requires a power beyond us. One must employ the help of God.
God's Word gives wisdom for handling anger. He gives us a right perspective from which to view the problem. One must be willing to get to the origin of their angry feelings and investigate why they are so quick to become angry and agitated in that way.
Yesterday, I tried to address how to avoid taking things personally unless it was necessary. Quick tempered people take everything personally. and it can lead to out-of-control behavior.
Let's face it, there's enough stuff out here and people to make us lose our mind, so to speak, if we're not careful; it's a tough and cruel world, but as a believer, God gives us tools to use and advice as to how to manage our emotions, our thinking, and our perspective. That is why it is imperative that we draw near to God so that we can be empowered and helped in gaining self-control.
You and I want to be godly men and women who know how to control anger for this is commendable!