Are you what you do?

Who were you created to be? Who have you become? 

Usually, when those questions are posed, our response goes right to what we do for a living. We talk about all we've accomplished, the money we make and the accolades etc.

Does your career determine who you are? Has your education defined you? Although you may have accomplished much in life and paid your dues with years of study, it only speaks to what you do, not who you are or have become.

Let me give a scenario that could be true to life. A nurse or a doctor received training in order to help to heal others physically. That same nurse or doctor goes home in the evening after a hard day's work and is verbally abusive to their family or disrespects their significant other.  Who are they? A highly educated engineer who is highly recognized and written about cheats on his wife and takes trips with everyone but his wife. Who is he? These are examples of what people do for a living, but their behavior speaks to their character. Character is everything! Character speaks to who we really are.

Who are you when no one is looking?  How we behave, the things we say, the things we talk about and the way we handle people is more of the truth to who we are. Our career or profession has nothing to do with our character or behavior. 

When someone disrespects you, do you get revenge? Do you go and lie on them to others or try to ruin their reputation?  

People rarely deal with their flaws or their negative behavior. If we won't accept responsibility for our actions, those same problems will always resurface over and over again and spill out into our relationships with others. It behooves us to stop and take inventory and give a long hard look at who we are or who we've become. Are you in relationships that last the test of time, or do they bite the dust one after the other?

Is it easier for you to gossip about others be it family members, colleagues, or friends? Have you tried to sit down with the person you are having a conflict with to hear things from their perspective as well as have them hear yours? Do you spend time taking into consideration that there may be factors other than your opinion as to why an individual has chosen to deal with you the way they have?

Life doesn't and will not get easier. As we become older, bad habits are harder to get rid of. These bad habits become engrained within us and almost never go away. Whatever we fail to correct and take responsibility for by age 40, will stay with us into older age. We lose out on valuable friendships, relationships, and healthy growth emotionally and psychologically. Let me give a disclaimer, I am not a psychologist or mental health professional. I only speak from what I consistently observed over many years now.

I have put in the hard work on myself, seeing that I was raised in a dysfunctional situation. I knew that I could not become like my parents with behavior that mirrored theirs. I had to make some hard decisions and choices in order to do better and to be the role model my children needed. By God's grace, I have been able to achieve that and more. No perfection is possible, just honest hard work on oneself does the trick. Taking into great consideration the Word of God and His standard for living has afforded me great blessings in my life.

So, I ask the question again.  Who were you created to be? Who have you become?