2 Samuel 13: 1-4
Dysfunctional Families Are Toxic!!!
The problems in David's household started when He sinned with Bathsheba and had her husband Uriah killed in battle. If he only knew what all of that would have led to, he would have thought twice and reigned his lustful passion in.
David had eight wives! This was against God's law and way for His people. There are always consequences for every act of disobedience! David's household was dysfunctional and toxic. He, personally, based on repentance, and his relationship with God, was called a man after God's own heart because he knew how to repent, but the consequences of his sins left his family in tremendous trouble.
David had a daughter named, Tamar. She was young and pretty and she was a virgin. One of David's sons was sick in lust for his half sister, Tamar, and with the help of his despicable cousin, Jonadab, a scheme was set in place on how to get Tamar to Amnon's house so he could sleep with her. The end result was that she, Tamar, begged her half brother, Amnon, to let her go and not force himself on her because it was wrong and she also told him that he would end up looking like a fool before their people. She also stated that he would ruin her chances for marriage and then where would she go? He didn't care. He raped her and then he kicked her out. With all of that sexual lust and love he had, with the same intensity he hated her after he satisfied his flesh.
She was now ruined. Her brother, Absalom questioned her and she told him what happened. He took her into his house to live and told her not to say anything about it. David found out and all he did was get angry. He never did anything about it. Look at the failure in that family. Look at the level of dysfunction within their walls. Look at the position Tamar was in - in that no family member fought for her or protected her. She suffered for the rest of her life.
Well...we know how the story ended; two years go by, Absalom sets up a plot and kills his half brother Amnon for the rape of his sister, Tamar. After that, more things happen in that family that continued the toxic fall out.
We don't get to choose the families we were born into, unfortunately, we are helpless and subject to whatever our parents do and not do. If our parents are sinful and corrupt, we share in the consequences of their lifestyle. Even some so called, 'Christian' families are filled with repeating the dysfunctional cycle.
Let's face it, David was a terrible father. He failed to rebuke his adult children for their sins and he loved them to a fault. He did nothing to comfort his daughter, Tamar.
The innocent always suffer in dysfunctional, toxic families but God holds a soothing balm for the innocent ones. I speak from personal experience. I share my testimony in my book, 'Called To Suffer' (amazon).
I can testify to the healing process of God and His compassion and mercy on me despite the family I was born into. I am forever grateful to the Lord for showing me how to 'STOP THE CYCLE' by making sure it didn't visit the next generation (my children). Sometimes you have to separate yourself from your own family for your sanity and health's sake. It may not be an easy thing to do, but a necessary thing to do. God makes sure that any who are forced to make that choice, find family elsewhere.
If you can relate to this post, know that God loves and cares about you more than you know. Go to Him and ask Him to show you what to do. He will send others to help you and God, Himself, will give you a good future (Jeremiah 29:11).