In order to see what may be lurking behind the curtain, we have to pull it back and take a look. When we are dealing with people, it's not so easy to do. Behind all negative, and offensive behavior are things that lurk in the shadows. Some of those things have been there for a long time.
For the most part, people don't know why they do the things they do. They may have a lack of 'Self Awareness'. Most people spend their lives reacting to life as oppose to taking the time to stop and assess what's really going on and find the appropriate response.
We all have a past. Some of us have had some pretty difficult things to deal with as a result. Often, we are shaped by our experiences from childhood. I am not a psychologist or a professional counselor, but I have dealt with a lot of horrid situations in my life over the years, and I know from personal experience what negative things, over time, can do to a person.
When I gave my heart to Christ, I learned that He could be trusted. I started discussing all of my issues with God and He has helped me to sort out each one, It is a process, but I was willing to take a real good look at what was lurking behind my curtain.
Over the years, I've dealt with difficult people in the church and outside of the church. Had I not dealt with my own stuff, I would not have been able to identify what I was looking at with others. Anyone who poses a real difficulty for you is showing you a bit of what's behind their curtain. I'm not speaking about disagreements, misunderstandings, or minor infractions. I'm referring to more serious behavior patterns that are seen consistently over a good span of time.
What I have found to be their struggle:
These individuals can pose great difficulty to others. They often don't do well in interacting with others. They have trouble keeping healthy relationships. They can tell you what other people's problems are, but they never discern what theirs is. They are hiding behind the curtain!
If you are dealing with anyone who seems similar to what is listed above, start by praying for them, for real. Prayer is key to being able to navigate without animosity when thrust together with them. If you happen to be living with them, pray and fast for them and yourself. Their behavior can make you hostile, furious, lash out, and become bitter against them. It's only natural for one to experience those emotions. Prayer helps to soften our spirits and bring about a deeper understanding. Prayer and fasting will keep you from reacting to the negativity. Prayer and fasting also gives clarity and will help you to maintain your love for them.
Being a Christian does not exempt us from attacks, being hated, being lied on, being misunderstood, or hurt. It's part of our journey here. It won't last forever, but God can help us endure and learn to handle difficult persons. Difficult people is God's specialty.
Always remember this; The Lord was verbally abused, physically abused, cursed at, slapped, lied on, spat on, accused of things He did not do, hated, scorned, and rejected, then murdered. Who better to pour our hearts out to? Who better to talk over our situations with? Who better to hand over the difficult stuff in our lives to, so He can make it right and bring about the healing that is needed? Tell Him all about it....Perhaps your situation may need a third party to get involved. Counseling is a good thing. God has provided that source of help for us as well.
Keep trusting, keep believing, He sees, He knows, He has a remedy for your situation!
"A fool's wrath (anger) is known at once (right away), but a prudent (wise) man covers shame (lets the insult go)." Proverbs 1216