"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Proverbs 16:32
A mighty warrior subdues individuals by overpowering them in some way. He conquers by force.
It takes self-control to not react or respond out of anger. The person who retaliates against you, to get back at you because you made them to feel some kind of way is out of control. The individual who takes vengeance on another for any reason is out of control. Anyone who goes and spread negative things about you is out of control and a person who orchestrates a plot against you is also out of control. The person who influences others against you is out of control as well.
All of these actions come from anger within a person. They have not learned to rule their spirit. They are actually very weak persons. All they can do is go around unleashing their anger and bitterness on others. They refuse to learn to deal with their emotions in a healthy, non-destructive way. They lack spiritual maturity. What about the 'nice nasty' person who uses a seemingly pleasant way of cutting you down or insulting you in a way that is condescending? They too have hidden anger issues and choose to strike out in ways that won't make it appear as if they have a problem with you. These individuals get angry easily and they act on it.
One wonders if they experienced emotional repression in their childhood where their feelings were rejected, not heard, criticized or not valued. Perhaps they ended up going through life feeling as if they always get the raw end of the stick. Sometimes it's those childhood deficits that bring about frustration and anger. This can be a breeding ground for behaviors such as jealousy, envy and a manipulative spirit within a child. Some adults are still fighting the battles they lost as a child. Perhaps they weren't liked much by their peers and they were out on a mission to prove that they are better than them. These things follow people into adulthood and if not dealt with from an early age by talking it out with a parent or trusted party, they continue to be on that quest to prove that they are better, smarter and popular. Regardless of one's painful childhood experiences, God never approves of such behaviors among His children and furthermore He disapproves of this type of anger issues pointed towards anyone.
As an aside, if you are raising children, give them a safe space with you where they can express their feelings whether you as their parent, or guardian agree with them or not. Don't make them swallow their feelings because eventually they will rebel. It is healthy to express one's emotions. That's why God gave us the ability to feel in the first place and we were given tears that we may cry if need be. Just picture someone who at every turn tries to shut you down. What will that end up doing to you?
Becoming a Christian and having a relationship with God should help lay these things to rest and help in controlling disappointment, anger and retaliation, but somehow for some, it keeps spilling out. This shows that there's a lack in their spiritual development and their refusal to accept God's help in this area of their life.
Some Christians may even think that they can control such behavior on their own, but they can't. Self-control requires a power beyond oneself. One must employ the help of God.
God's Word gives wisdom for handling anger. He gives a right perspective from which to view what caused the anger in the first place. One must be willing to get to the origin of why they are so quick to become angry and agitated in that way.
Quick tempered persons take everything personally and it leads to out-of-control behavior.
Let's face it, there's enough stuff out here and people to make you lose your mind if you're not careful; it's a tough world, but as a believer, God gives us tools to use and advice as to how to manage our emotions, our thinking, and our reactions. That is why it is imperative that we draw near to God so that we can be empowered and helped in gaining self-control.
You want to be a godly man or woman who knows how to control their anger. This is commendable.